Cinnamon Roll Rising

NOTE: If you’re looking for recipes, you’re in the wrong place. 😉

So my friend Ali has been tackling a supernatural romance series and she mentioned that in her current research/reading the trope of the “cinnamon roll” is trending. Having never heard the term except in relation to delicious pastries, I did some googling, some TikToking, some Instagramming and discovered that this cinnamon roll trend is a new character role in romance. A whole different kind of tasty treat.

The cinnamon roll is a romantic hero who is diametrically opposed to the other long-held romantic trope: the Alpha Male. The Alpha Male is the romantic character I was raised on—Kathleen Woodiwiss introduced him to me at the tender age of ten-years-old or so? Along with more graphic sex scenes. (Look, my parents only cared that I was reading.) The Flame and the Flower, to use a Woodiwiss example, not only opens with an Alpha Male sea captain mistaking our Leading Lady for a prostitute whom he doesn’t listen to when she tries to explain why she’s out on the streets alone, but then he proceeds to sexually assault her.

This was presented as “okay” because she eventually warmed up to it. After reading a gajillion more romance novels, I learned at a very young age that this is the rule, not the exception for this genre.

Or shall I say “was” the rule.

Enter the Cinnamon Roll.

While the Alpha Male is dominant, aggressive, but often devastatingly handsome and loving once you get to know him, the cinnamon roll is softer and kinder from the jumping off point. Think Paul Rudd’s characters instead of Russel Crowe’s characters. These heroes are attractive but in a more approachable, genuine way.

So, in learning about the Cinnamon Roll’s appearance in popular culture, I realized a lot of the articles about this emerging trope seem to start picking up around 2020—notably during COVID times and post-#MeToo. That was very interesting to me.

Romance as a genre is a fascinating representation of tradition telling women what they should want (an Alpha, a Provider, a Boss) and women responding by creating what they want (a Cinnamon Roll, a Partner, a Teammate). Deeper than that, I think the Rise of the Cinnamon Roll is indicative of the exhaustion women feel.

The Bear, The Man, or The Cinnabon

I cannot speak for my entire gender, but my hypothesis is that many women are just tired of having to explain that we are often defending ourselves against our romantic partners. Just look at the response to #MeToo…#notallmen. Look at the response to the bear question—women are trying to explain that #notallmen are behaving well and #enoughmen are behaving like dickheads that we’re cautious.

Some of that is because women have been told (and are still being told, if Harrison Butker is any indication) that they need to be taken care of by a man, provided for by a man, etc. The Alpha Male trope which has dominated the romance genre certainly feeds that.  Ironically, these are the men we absolutely do not want to meet in the woods, alone.

And look, I don’t want to be meeting a bear either. Those things are scary.

But if you put a Cinnamon Roll in front of me in the woods? Now we’re talking. A Cinnamon Roll is sweet, sustaining, and has a little bit of heat and spice to it. A pleasant way to spend time out in nature. You don’t have to defend your right to be a basic human to a Cinnamon Roll. You can just be.

Shifting Aspirations

I was reading an article (I lost the link, I think it was in The New York Times but don’t quote me) that talked about online dating. Apparently everyone, men and women, are dating aspirationally.  they pick someone 25% hotter or 25% richer or 25% smarter…though I don’t know how you can tell if anyone’s smart in an online dating pool. Good luck.

The romance genre is aspirational when it comes to defining love stories. As such, it establishes types of behavior for men and women. In the romance novels of the 1970s and 1980s, men were told they should be more Alpha, and women should expect that. Desire it even. Therefore, pressure is put on men to be rather domineering and providers and independent, because expectations are being set.

And a lot of men and women internalized that. Hello trad wives and Harrison Butker again.

But I think the Rise of the Cinnamon Roll cinnamon roll trope is the rise of a different kind of aspiration.

Maybe the romance genre is shifting aspirations, saying that we all should be looking for someone who’s 25% more caring. 25% sweeter. Someone 25% nicer. And that aspirational shift is happening because the world is shifting. Because after a woman comes back from a hard day of working—because it’s not like men are the only providers out there anymore—you want someone that you can snuggle with and maybe watch a movie.

I think women today are seeking equal partnerships where they feel supported rather than dominated.

Perhaps I’m hopelessly naïve (or a hopeless romantic about the world?), but I think this trope might be offering a hopeful glimpse into a future where kindness and empathy are celebrated. What do you think? Lemmeno in the comments. Play nice.