I chose Colleen Hoover as my focus for the first quarter of 2024 because she was objectively successful. Millions of books sold, adored by fans, and a darling of both the traditional publishing and self publishing worlds. As I am also determined to be wildly successful, I chose to dive into Hoover before I read a single one of her books.
Very strategic of me, no?
(No.)
However, with legions of readers—known as Cohorts…Colleen Hoover>CoHo>CoHorts…it’s like watching language develop in real time—I figured it was a safe bet that Hoover could string words together.
So I picked up Verity because it’s a psychological thriller/crime novel, which is one of the main genre sandboxes I play in.
Verity is about Lowen Ashleigh, a writer who is hired to finish a very popular series for bestselling author Verity Crawford. Verity suffered severe injuries in a car crash which prevent her from finishing her series. When Lowen arrives at Verity’s home, she discovers many things are not as they seem. All kinds of trouble ensues. By the time I finished Chapter Three, I knew as a reader I was in capable hands. By the time I finished the book, I felt I may be in the presence of genius.
The characters were well drawn, with clear wants and desires. Those wants and desires were thwarted by obstacles. In the best of ways, I wasn’t sure who the bad guy was…or if there even was a bad guy. I had all the feels of my teenage self reading the Horror Point titles combined with the oof of books like Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl and Paula Hawkins’s The Girl on the Train. In other words, I was pretty impressed.
But what’s even more striking is that Colleen Hoover herself put what I was feeling into words:
“…I chose to listen to the audiobook of the first novel in Verity Crawford’s series. It just ended. My knuckles are white from gripping the steering wheel so tightly. My mouth is parched from forgetting to hydrate on the drive over. My self-esteem is somewhere back in Albany. She’s good. Really good…”
Verity by Colleen Hoover
Yeah. Verity was quite good.
Jealousy inducing good.
I put the book down and pondered the feelings I was feeling.
First, that it was a good book.
Second, that it had brilliant insights into writing and creativity.
Third, that I was jealous and angry and frustrated.
Being a mature adult, I took my professional jealousy to Facebook and asked my friend group—which is filled with actors and writers…two groups who know all about professional jealousy—and asked them how they dealt with being jealous of another professional. I was in search of wisdom and perspective. And perhaps some cattiness. My friends delivered on all counts. But, since cattiness will get us nowhere, I’m going to focus on the nuggets of wisdom offered.
If you are feeling professional jealousy, here are some tips and tricks backed by my scientific survey of friends.
Time for self-reflection and evaluating what the jealousy is telling you. What are you really jealous of? Is it a skill that your peer has that you lack? Is it their financial/popular success (which is something they have no control of either)?
From Friend #1: “It’s usually a signal that I need some self reflection time. If I listen and I feel it’s something that I want to emulate/learn/do then perhaps that’s a new direction to honor and, in turn, admire and learn from that person. If it’s something completely out of my control, then it’s time to be a little extra gentle with my self-critical thoughts and focus on acceptance and kindness internally and externally. Eeeeeeeeasier said than done though.”
Along the same lines, Friend #2 asks the follow questions: “What am I not doing that I wish I were, and how am I myself stopping myself? Am I not going after things? Or if I am, can I see the other ways folks are doing things and draw inspiration.”
Focus on community and collaboration rather than competition. All creative endeavors feed other creative endeavors. It’s not a competition.
According to Friend #3, “If my peer succeeds it is good for the entire art scene and it is good for me too. We should all be working as much as we can and we should be helping each other and celebrating our victories together to make this a better place to live and work.”
This advice was echoed by Friend #4: “Leaning into collaboration rather than competition.”
Work with the source of your jealousy (if you can). If jealousy is stemming from a skill set you haven’t built up yet, then the source of your jealousy is actually an opportunity develop that skill set.
Friend #5 says “I deal with jealousy by trying to be in the same places and ideally working with them. On one level, I hope to understand where I need to focus my effort to achieve a similar accomplishment. On another level, working along side people I’m jealous of reminds me that my strengths are valuable and I don’t have to limited by my weaknesses.”
Get back to work. At the end of the day, this is probably the best thing to do, yeah? As my protege has laid out (abbreviated):
Step 1: Identify which aspect is actually causing my envy.
Step 2: Fantasize about horrible punishments karma will inevitably lay on their smug faces.
Step 3: Get back to work.
How do you handle professional jealousy when it rears its ugly head? Are you reasonable, like many of my friends…or do “lead with the shoulder, not the helmet” as one of my other friends put it?
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